Friday, September 13, 2013

Week 10 challenge- skipped - News item discussed

So I skipped week 10 challenge because we were supposed to do yoga, with our children.  I don't do yoga.  And there is no way that my not quite 2 year olds would do it with me.  If they were older maybe.  The rare time that I have done yoga was "fertility yoga" when I still undergoing the preliminary stages of IVF.  I didn't do well as we were in a large echo-y room and I was supposed to keep my eyes closed... AKA have no idea what is going on because there is no way to read lips and the sound got lost in the room anyhow.


So instead, I thought that I would talk about something that I stumbled on in a Facebook Multiple group today.  David Tutera, a celebrity that I have never heard of before, (why is that?  because I'm getting older and don't watch as much stuff, or read the gossip magazines... oh wait, sorry it's because I don't care.)
anyhoo, this celeb and his boyfriend were expecting twins via surrogate and broke up in the middle of the pregnancy.  They had a boy/girl set, Cedric and Cielo, who will now be raised separately, on opposite ends of the country.  I have read the news article posted in the group and have seen nothing positive written in reaction to this.  The twin/multiples world is up in arms and people in general, are appalled.  Reactions vary from "what the heck?" to "separating siblings, especially twins, is wrong." to "I watched the Parent Trap movie last week and wondered how they thought this was a good custody arrangement."  and now we read in the news that the 2 men will raise the children separately --- not just in the same city/state, but on opposite ends of the country.  Ew!



I am a mother of b/g twins.  Sure they are my first and they aren't quite 2, but my twins know when something isn't quite right about the other.  When baby girl had a recent surgery, baby boy moped around the house and hunted for her, because he missed his other half, his playmate.  Mommy wasn't the same, daddy wouldn't do, and it wasn't right until she returned.

I think that regardless of whether I am a mother or not, this idea of raising the kids separately is just wrong.  Contrary to the movie, Parent Trap, these celeb children will know their sibling, just not live together.  I suppose the issue is that they are twins, and not just siblings with an age difference.  It is said that twins, especially identical, have a bond that surpasses understanding.  They shared the womb and more.  To separate them is just wrong.

There have been psychological studies about twins separated at birth and raised apart, with no knowledge of the existence of the other that shows there are similarities in their character.  This study was done to prove nature versus nurture, the idea that we become who we are based on our genetic codes versus how we are raised.  Nature v. Nurture has long been an ongoing battle of debate.  One that I'm not prepared to go into at this point.  The point is that separating twins, especially at birth, is wrong because it is denying them the uniqueness that they are, as well as depriving them of their sibling and "other half".

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