Friday, July 26, 2013

I cheated... big deal.

This is day 4 of Weight Watchers Online, yes yes, 188 days left. ugh this is hard.  Sure "dieting" is about awareness of Self.  Awareness of how much and what you are eating. "You are what you eat"... blah blah blah.  I know this stuff, junk goes in than of course, junk goes out and it won't help me fit into my clothes any better and it won't help me get healthier.

Ugh! so hard.  So I didn't really cheat. WW gives you so many points per day of foods to eat.  I can eat a lot of fruit and barely use up my points or I can eat a burger from a fast food joint.  This evening, we ate a burger from Wendy's.  WW also gives you an alloted number of weekly points, meaning I have eaten my day's worth of points (every food is valuated by WW, some more, some less) and then I can allow myself a bit of a splurge.  But don't make a habit of it, and don't starve yourself either.  

The enthusiasm and good will takes a turn sometimes, but it is important not to beat yourself up.

So this weekend we are going to the annual family reunion.  Not my family, his. This will be the first time that we take the twins .. well it will be a first for them for a lot of things; first time on a ferry, first time to Vancouver Island, first time to see a hoard of family; not the first time away from home as we went to my mother's for Thanksgiving 2012, not the first time with family, -- this family yes.  

These reunion things give me mixed emotions; angst, excitement to see people, mostly anxiety.  I am my father's daughter.  We have learned this to be the case more and more as the past decade has gone on.  Ironic since I am an extrovert and my previous job was to meet and greet tons of people from varying cultures and backgrounds.  If I have a choice, I would prefer to avoid family functions altogether.  It's not that I hate them, they just seem to occur in clusters.  This weekend is the family reunion, followed by 2 birthdays in the immediate family necessitating cake and gathering.  

Let me start over... so the family reunion gives me angst for 2 reasons; meeting people that I don't really know so I don't know how I'm supposed to act with them (relaxed? formal? can I say something stupid and not worry that someone will be offended or whatever?) , and the fact that I can't leave when I want to.  That has always been a thing with me... I hate retreat and certain group outings because I can't leave if I don't like it, or need space.  That is one of the reasons that I do not care for camping, boats, or certain social situations.

This time is different.  I have been working on the family tree (today it is 5900 people, yes I know, where do I find them all? and when will it stop? and do I really need all these people in it?) and it has helped me to "own" this family.  Hubby says that I probably know more about his family than he does.  Well yes, likely.  He is a guy.  In my experience, guys don't usually focus on these types of things -- who's who and minutiae like that.  But then in the beginning of the marriage, I learned that my strength is that I focus on people details and he focuses on technology details, a good balance for us and it works out well.  I would ask him who a certain cousin is, like where did they fit in the family (which aunt does this one belong to?) and he seriously could not tell me. I was appalled.  But then I only had 15 cousins to keep track on in my family and he has 40.)  So this time, I am going armed with my extensive family tree project and looking to "fill in blanks" about the families and ask about things like (my favorite question)  "how did you meet your spouse?" Over the years, I have heard some interesting responses.  My favorite answer came from a neighbor of 20+ years who said "on the phone.  He was on shore leave from the Navy and called to ask my roommate out but she wasn't home so he took me dancing instead."  

It is late and I'm sure a baby will wake me up early.  I am trying in vain to wean them from bottles to sippy cups.  Baby boy still refuses to drink anything but milk and both refused their suppers today.  I have to wean her from her soother soon as they will be 2 in 3 months, and I have as yet to get them to eat fruit.  Baby boy spits stuff out or refuses to even try it and we have to trick him into it.  I hate doing it, but I have no idea what to do sometimes.


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